I'm of the opinion that friends are the family you choose. Best choose well, you can't keep changing your family like underwear... calls for weird dynamics, right?
This is one tale of friendship and change as I've lived it...
We all live a life that continues to metamorphosizes day by day. We wake up, we sleep, we eat, we drink, we speak* (If afforded such luxuries anyway). We do almost everything systematically/routinely and its very hard to believe that things change so much and so quickly too. Only later on, a week, a month,a year we realise that change is imminent and change is necessary and change has happened. In the changes in personality and interests sometimes even your group of friends change. Suddenly the family you choose no longer fits in your routine, fits in your goals and you start to move further and further apart. Sad but true. Sad but ok. That's part of the journey of life
I had a friend not so long ago. She was one of those friends that I would see every weekend and she would confide in me & at some point we were inseperable. She would go the extra mile by introducing me to her other friends as ' her best friend in the whole wide world.'
I knew that was never the case because we did have our differences, differences that best friends should never have. None-the-less, I still took her as a friend and with being my friend comes a lot of blatant honesty. Not the one sided type but were I expect the level of honesty from you that I give to you. I mean... Is that too much to ask?
Fast forward to about a week ago, I realised that not only did she block me off Facebook but
stopped following me on Instagram too. The what now??? At that point I realised our friendship was not just over but very over. It wasn't at all that I kept her on Facebook to keep tabs on her, nor did I ever play the dormant Facebook 'friend'. We had grown apart, yes, but I would always like the occasional status or better yet drop a text when she was doing good. Not only was I shocked but a little hurt too especially because it was all of an intentional act. That was never discussed and never hinted. Adding insult to injury would be finding out that she still follows the rest of our mutual friends and some of my family members. Im the only one that got the cut. What did I do so wrong? As life would have it, I bounce back and its turned to a standing joke: When you get defriended not only on Facebook but in real life too. Rough. All's well that ends well, one less person following (read:stalking) you on Social Media.
Initially it was awkward. It was very awkward but what's even more awkward is the realisation that we are adults. We are adults and life is moving at quite a pace. Within a couple of years my focus won't be who wants to be friends, who is drinking what, my concern will-God willing-be my kids who I would like to grow up in the presence of loving, responsible parents, extended family and framily (friends that turn to family). That's all. If I'm not building a good environment for myself now, free of drama, free of people who make bad decisions & don't learn from them, people who are not on the same path as me, then I'm doing it all wrong and certainly not doing myself any favours.
That's when it dawned on me that actually actually actually. I didn't lose anything. Did you hear that? I lost nothing. This person that called herself my best friend, constantly made decisions I wasn't comfortable with and during our reign I constantly had to put in more effort to maintain this one friendship. Maybe then I had that kind of time & patience but unfortunately or fortunately that is not the case now. If i think about it which I have, I come to realise that this person doesnt fit in anywhere with anything in my life. Don't get me wrong, its not so much that she's not good enough, it's more that she's not good enough to be in my circle and my business. A decision she made for the both of us.
I've lost nothing because as we all know people are often only in our lives for a game and sometimes the gems stay around for a couple of seasons- The Grande Finale too. Who will it be, you might ask, however that is only something you will find out in the end.
Remember, the changes in your life are only there to build you. If you aren't building on the right foundation with the right ideas (all different and personally tailored of course), there's always a chance to tear down and rebuild, properly.
No comments:
Post a Comment