Friendzoner (n) a person who puts you in the friendzone

Friendzonee (n) a person who has been put in the friendzone by the friendzoner

Friendzoned (v) a zone in life that nobody leaves

We meet again...

Friendzone... friendzone, friendzone! is the mysterious and mystical place where all crushes go to die!!!! It doesn't matter how many centuries you have been hanging out there, NOBODY LEAVES FRIENDZONE!

 I would like to lament on this subject for a little bit as this is a phase in life we have ALL been through. Or rather stuck at. (Unless you are Beyonce... oh wait... NO. See "Best thing I never had" for friendzone reference. Even you, Beyonce!) 

The dreaded friendzone, la friendzone, il friendzono. 

As long as you are a living, breathing, talking, not talking, walking, not walking,  winking, not winking, farting human being you have been put in this box at least once- sadly, this box is made of corrugated iron! It's sad and pathetic in there innit?

I JOKE! Let me tell you that you are bigger than that box. Do not despair. 

As a human, i find it is so easy to be absorbed by this fantasy world. We often get caught up in what could be if we just did this and that. But the hard and humble truth is if he only saw you as a friend in the beginning, there is slim to none chances he sees you as anything romantic now. Unless of course you are in some bombastic Hollywood production. #CutEdit

To eliminate confusion, friends should be honest with each other. Yes, it will be awkies in the beginning but true friendship stands the test of awkward. 10 years from now you might both be telling your kids this same friendzone story. With that said, friendzone is still pretty hilarious. You have got to admit!

People take rejection in so many different ways. Some people soar after being rejected and unfortunately some people aren't as successful in their bid to flap their wings. Rejection makes us feel horrible and ridiculous but on the flip side it builds character. If you have warm blood in your veins, you have felt both those feelings.

Dear friendzonee, you are not the first nor will you ever be the last to feel rejection. Dust yourself off and try again (somewhere else). Life is too precious,  life is too long, life is too awesome! If the maxim "There is someone out there for everyone" is true, you are someone and you will find your Princess Charms and/or Prince Charming.

As my blog title suggests, I have been on a Journey this past year. A journey of self growth, self value and self love. I still have a long way to go and much to learn but I know strength comes from within. Love comes within. Peace comes from within. Joy comes from within. Not from anybody but myself.  Because these are things I value, nobody can devalue me. Be it a teacher,  a friend, an enemy,  a family member, a friendzoner inter alia. That confidence, I single handedly build and work on everyday, you, sir/ madam are not entitled to break that or me. 

At the end of the day,  the way I see this friendzone thing is; allow yourself to be friendzoned at least once in your life. One day, you will appreciate the fact that somebody else has the ability to love you, flaws and all, bent eye and smelly belly button. Making that once friendzoner seem not so important afterall.

Remember, life is a garden you are a shovel so dig it!

Xenophobia

For so many months, I've sat down and thought to write a blog. I usually get frustrated that twitter only gives me 140 characters to express myself. 'I oftn fynd myself writin lyk dis'. which is not conducive for what my heart is dying to say also makes me look very, for lack of a better word 'unintelligible'. Today, in the midst of this South Africans vs. Africans, I felt the need to speak out!

My heart is sore! To say the very least. I am pained for my country I am pained for the people in my country, I am pained at the lackadaisical actions from my leaders, i am pained that in a country that has claimed to embrace a rainbow nation, there is no rainbow.

Whoaaa so many things going through my head. How do i make it sound, intelligent? maybe i don't maybe i should just type... back space, ill come at you later.


This isn't the first time we've experienced xenophobic attacks in South Africa, many innocent lives are lost, peoples hard earned money is thrown down the toilet through looting. Please tell me why? How would you like it if someone came and took the food out of your fridge, cupboard pantry and through it on the floor? Would you not feel pain? a sense of loss? You worked hard for that. what are you going to eat now? what are your children going to eat? how is your family going to survive? How would you feel if somebody came up to and said your were not brown enough now you die! South Africans, were is that spirit of UBUNTU?

Dear South Africa, I'm horribly worried for our well being and our future. I've read a lot of posts today from people saying 'Who do you think housed us during apartheid?' Such a legit question, who do you think it was? Our neighboring countries of course, 'the foreigners'. yes we were once foreigners and nobody tried to kill us,  in fact they treated us like eggs. fragile, delicate and not to be hurt. Today the same nations come to us for refuge and we turn a blind eye. Our leaders who themselves fought in the struggle say nothing to counter attack these heinous crimes. Why? is filling your pocket more important than human life??! We have been the laughing stock for some many reasons through the years. Isn't it time to take up a new persona. One that does not label us, 'barbaric'.

Today, i tweeted, #BlackOnBlackViolence not xenophobia. I find truth in this statement. as far as i know xenophobia is the fear of other nationalities, as far as i can see china mall is standing tall. as far as i can see Portuguese, Indian, Pakistani, Italian shops and restaurants are standing strong-business as usual. So how can we label this xenophobia?  This IS  a repetition of history BLACK ON BLACK VIOLENCE! This is a level of hate that not even the most hardened criminal can understand.

I volunteered in a township about 2 years ago with such an intelligent bunch of youth and they were so driven, so focused and one of the sections we did was Xenophobia. I asked them 'what makes a person a foreigner?' They said a person that isn't born in South Africa. i said 'Okay, cool is that all? yes. 'so why are purple, orange, yellow, white people not being attacked?' That silence was nothing short of deafening. Nobody ever has the answer to that question. I then went on to tell them that well, I have a South African name and surname, my parents are South African, their parents are South African, we speak South African languages but according to your definition, I AM NOT SOUTH AFRICAN because i wasn't born here. Isn't that weird? Stop with the labels and you will see we are all alike.

This xenophobia thing hits close to home. I grow up in a multinational family. oh boy! anybody who knows me, knows i am proud to boast about my family. we are so cool. Nigeria, Ghana, Lesotho, Swaziland Ethiopia Malawi Tanzania Zambia (you name it, we've got it)! We are a rainbow nation. Growing up that was so normal to me but now living in a country, my country, that believes my family is alien, that is not okay with me. To think that the safety of my precious, unique and beautiful family is at risk in certain areas of the country is ridiculous. We are not alien, your thinking is alien!

South Africa, no man is an island. We might think we are living in the land of milk and honey now but at this rate it looks like we are on a steady decline. Investors will not want to invest in a country plagued by violence and hooligans. With Nigeria's GDP being higher than ours already last year, they are hitting the ground running. I don't want to look back one day on a memory that was beautiful South Africa and be stuck here because other nationals in this country have burned bridges for me without my consent. As it is we already can't get into other Continents without a visa, whereas 10 years ago i could go to England visa free on my South African passport (this is not hearsay). Soon we will be labelled as hooligans and trapped in the borders of South Africa-to some that may seem like utopia but in reality this situation is not something to be proud of. I guess only if you have traveled you will realize that more beauty lies outside the borders of South Africa- as close to home as Lesotho.

With all that said, 21 years of democracy as the cliche goes, we have so much growing up to do. i pray whole-heartedly that we can come back from this circus and restore UBUNTU. Remember that you are African before you are South African. Respect our motherland and respect our history!