Relationships

Relationshi

While, as usual, I had a lot to blurb about for this installment, I decided relationships would be the most fitting.

Non platonic relationships...I remember so vividly heartbreak being 15 plus days with a box of tissues, chocolate, episodes of Sex and the City (Mr Big always drove me up the wall. FYI), wine and a girls night with men bashing in order. I could swear that, that and more was going to happen if ever I broke up with my current ex. We were forever! You can only imagine my shock when none of that happened. I sat quietly in my room. Pondering...  What? Where's the heart break sound? The slow motion run after him on the beach as the sun sets? Where is the empty soul feeling? Oh dear, I think there's something wrong with this script!

Platonic relationships...In my childhood days, I always thought I would have one best friend for the rest of my life and nobody else would be my bestie or anything close. We would get married to two boys (who were also best friends) at the same time and same venue. Ladies and gentlemen,  I was all wrong and somewhat delusional! Though I still have my bestie, I recently adopted a bunch of friends.  We kinda "found" each other. Right on time I'd say. Sitting at dinner one night we raised our wine glasses proudly to being single and happiness and, and, and... And we realised life has put us in the same spot at the same time. Not just physically, duh! But entirely. Somebody exclaimed the words, "We have another thing in common!" With a blood drained look on my face, I do remember replying with the words, "How awesome!" but what I thought was; Deeeeep! Where was my one and only bestie? How come she is not experiencing what I am? How are we not in the same spot? No man! This script is really wrong!

 All of this got me thinking... (all those Facebook quotes I've liked over the years were not in vain. They make perfect sense now!)

Some people are in your life for a reason and others just a season: 

I can't help but think that life has a reason for bringing people together or pulling them apart. This makes me think back on all the heart break I've experienced and all the friendships I've let go off. Those situations are absolutely how they were supposed to be.

Everything happens for a reason:

I can't help but be grateful for life and its quirks. I can't help but accept the fact that I may well have 'loved and lost' but instead of mopping around, bask in the understanding that life will go on and it will place itself not quite how or where I planned or imagined it but exactly how it is supposed to be. 

Let go:

Hoarding and holding on to people and situations that don't serve me anymore is useless. And time wasting. And toxic! Pursuing happiness and growing very well means letting go of a heavy past and trusting that the future will avail itself beautifully. 

Finally, my mantra, 

I am my first and longest commitment:

I spent 27 years of my life not realising nor focusing on this. Relationships come and go but I can't leave myself. Why haven't I put as much work into myself as I have into everyone and everything else? 

Shooo! #MindBlown

On using my brain cells, I can say for one, I have a fully functional brain. (Yay me!) I can also say, I have learnt a lot by simply putting things into PERSPECTIVE! Though the lense in the magnifying glass is not clear but still yet not so blurry either, I'll take it.

Remember, life is one up and down slippy, slidey, slopey, windy kinda thing. To live fully you just have to be ready to go through the motions.

Goals

Goals are those little rascals that seem so unattainable in the beginning. It's almost like looking up at Mount Everest from the bottom. *Cue Drake-started from the bottom.* also followed by *BIG SIGH*

If only I knew then what I know now, huh? I can't go back so whats left to do is to move forward and setting realistic attainable goals is the best thing I could do for myself. Long term, short term even middle term. And not just, OK long term: I want to be married with kids and short term: um *scratches head* I want to cut my toe nails... Although I think those things are quite important it is probably better to challenge yourself! 

At the beginning of the year, I knew I had some achievements to meet this year. Whilst in a quiet introspective look at myself I realized, 365 days had passed me by and what did I have to show for it? Some bruises from a rowdy girls night out, a rocky relationship and manicured nails. That is when i thought; No. Ways. Come now! So I filled my plate . It was BUFFET TIME with the weight loss "goal" being one of those things I would take by the horn. If you can conquer obesity in a world where life is food and food is love, I believe you are unconquerable. 

95kgs was what I was working with and 65kgs is what I wanted and all I could think was a) Wow you have let yourself go, child and b) how on earth will you get back to 65kgs. What? That's unheard of... Little did I know, nothing is unheard of and nothing is impossible!

I then set a realistic date and time and weight. Garsh! In the beginning jumping on a scale and it has the audacity to tell me, I have lost a grand total of  *cue drum roll* 0.3kg. What??? That's enough to bring tears to any grown woman's face, (There have been days my scale almost met its untimely demise against a wall), especially when you know you shunned that greasy meal your mom made not once but twice. In the past I would usually feel like "Ok doll you tried shame. Now just give up" this time around it was all different. I can't express. I ran even when I didn't want to. I did yoga looking very ungraceful twisting and bending my body like a contortionist of sorts and once or twice almost breaking my arm trying to get creative. I ate vegetables although those carbs looked mouth watering. (Why does bad food always have a way of calling your name? ) Anyway before I knew it 10 kgs down, 20kgs down and finally the BIG 30! I can tell you there is no greater joy. 

That's just one simple anecdote. I have a few more in my bag on trick but that's a tale for another day.

 I've decided this year is a time to work on myself and everything else will fall into place. Love, peace, relationships, friendships, work among other things. Weirdly, they have for the most part. In my head, it ties up to the saying love yourself and love will find you. 

Of course, I am human there have been days where I get too anxious and feel too overwhelmed and think, 'No I'm done. I quit now! I'm done with this. This is stupid!' Retrospectively, I'm so glad I've kept pushing. The realisation that my journey is not a one day game, its a lifetime effort and commitment. 

Things are not perfect but they are good. That glitch in the road is exactly where it's supposed to be . It's up to me to move around it, over it, on it or let it defeat me. And defeat is something that my inner competitor rejects. (You will often here me calling out rematch!)

Look at what you have, appreciate it, change the things you don't like, set realistic goals, reach for them and keep moving. You'd be surprised at what you can conquer.

As for my next goal, moving cities and/or countries. I'm looking up at the apex of that mountain and it's looking down at me with a smirk. I'll keep looking up because I'm already on my mark, getting set.... AND the rest... well... That will be history.

Remember, the mind is a powerful place. Most things are mind over matter!