Left out

Left out...

I've been hearing a lot of this story lately and not only is it sitting on my last nerve but In the greater scheme of things, I find it sad.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the idea of feeling left out is just the need to fit in. I've tried thinking about why when I hear those words I feel so irritated and I've concluded that it's because I just have no desire to be anything or anyone but myself. Hmmm... Maybe just Beyonce sometimes.

It's completely natural not only to feel but be left out for most of your life. Why is it such a big deal? The fact of life is, you can never be the person that fits the mould of every situation. You can never be the person who is everyone's favourite. You can never be the taste for every palate... What you can do is be yourself and see how perfectly you fit exactly where you are supposed to be even if it means being left out of where you aren't.

We gallop through a lot of different situations on this journey. Everything that happens in our lives, happens for a reason and somehow the universe shows us this daily. We just have to look and use those enormous parts embedded in our heads  to start understanding. For some divine reason, we are created and moulded for diversity and for that reason, I am. He is. She is. They are. You are. We are!

I don't know how but I've gotten to a point of comfortable, confident and content. Realising there's so much of me for me, that feeling "left out" is the least of my worries. I will admit I'm an undiscovered lunatic and can solemnly swear some of my best moments have been by myself. If I'm not the perfect fit for a situation, that's just a situational loss.

I think the problem stems from the fact that in life we are constantly, unconsciously having to prove ourselves to everybody and everything forgetting that the most important element is proving everything to ourselves. I say this because when the curtains close and the lights go out, we are only left to answer to ourselves. Proving points is exactly how we start to lose ourselves.

Now as I approach my 27th birthday I wish I knew then what I know now. I probably would have saved myself a lot of teenage and early twenties headache and heartache trying to fit in, instead of embracing the fact that as a human I was never born to fit in, I was born to be left out. Luckily enough, in the moments I'm left out, those are the moments I find tiny bits of myself.

Remember, fitting in is not important. Standing out and pushing all boundaries, finding the way to the best you is! Unfortunately, that is the road less travelled but really, in the words of Dr Seuss "Why fit in when you were born to stand out? "

Self Worth

If anyone told me 20 years ago there are things I will need to think about in depth on my own, I probably would have looked at them and asked for a Happy Meal. 

And so with aging, there's always circumstances and situations coming up that you were never briefed for. Everyday is a new adventure. Everyday is an opportunity for a blessing. One of the things I've come to think about is, self worth. Self worth. Am I worthy? Worthy to who? Worthy for what?

In a world where self worth is influenced and measured by many things sometimes materialistic and sometimes not, I feel I really have to dig deep on some days. Self esteem is easily broken but sometimes not the easiest thing to rebuild.

TV ads, magazines and other media paint a picture of thin, toned well proportioned ladies and chiseled men with bodies that could melt butter. In our world, that is what is seen as perfection. The bigger ladies and gents are suddenly not perfect. 

So you flipped the page in that magazine and there was Sally-Anne* with her perfect skin, perfect ponytail, perfect teeth, perfect eyes and there you are weighing in at 100 gazillion kilograms with a stomach fit to contend with a pregnant cow. At that point, of course, it is hard to paint yourself in a beautiful light. 

Well, what I didn't realise then is the essence of self worth is that it is more than what I look like on the outside. Self worth is something more than that. Something bigger than anything aesthetically pleasing.

Waking up with conviction and confidence,  looking in that mirror and telling myself 'Ok fine pimple! You win today but I still have so much to offer to myself, to my family, to my friends, to my colleagues and to the people I encounter everyday.' With this attitude in mind,  I think  the basics of the subject 'Self Esteem 101' have been mastered.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think self worth is cockiness or an over zealous ego although the concept can be confused. It is definitely not making anyone around you feel small or invalid either. I think it's just knowing that you are worthy to live despite what society says and its confines.

So I think, self worth is understanding and owning that maybe physically I am fat or thin, tall or short, female or male, African or European,  Caucasian, Indian or Mixed raced. I have long, short, blonde, black, straight, kinky or curly hair. Blue, brown or green eyes. Awesome! That is what I can see with my naked eye but underneath that I am beautiful, I am respectful and treated with respect in return, I am fair, I am helpful, I am kind to others, I am strong for myself and above all, I am a living and breathing and worthy human!

Remember,  self worth is simply knowing your worthy of anything good. Anything great-That and more is your portion of the pie.